It's a line from an over-played song by Semisonic circa 1999, but while the song is out of vogue--forgotten, along with a plethora of other songs that are relegated to the dungeon of non-peak play lists--the sentiment is timeless. Graduation was last night. It was our school's first graduation. And while it was beautiful and special, I can't help but be a little melancholy today as I think back over the last three years and recognize all that has brought us to this point.
I started teaching at Highland as a last-minute replacement for a middle/high school math position that had become vacant at the end of the first quarter. My initial encounter with the then 10th graders was probably less than warm. They were not happy about the turn of events that brought me to the school, and--according to Hanna--they had planned to dislike me from the start. I was stressed out about teaching Geometry, so I really didn't pick up on the coolness of the group, and, as I was a close friend of their class sponsor, I tagged along on many of their fundraisers and outings. I guess they eventually came to accept me and we all survived that year of Geometry.
And then the next year I transitioned into teaching English and Bible. I was their Apologetics teacher and as we had a very open curriculum, the class gave us wonderful opportunities to plumb the depths of many ponderous mysteries--mainly those of God and boys. I continued to participate in those fundraisers and we went to NYC that spring. Now, you haven't really been to NYC until you've been there with a group of 16-year-old girls...and Aggie! Truly one of the most memorable experiences of my life!
And then this year they were seniors. I had a mixed class of juniors and seniors for Speech I--a class that no one wanted to take! Gone were the days of in-depth conversation which could be considered class discussion. We now had a defined subject matter and a classroom infiltrated by another group. With a larger group and some serious cases of senioritis, we lost some of the camaraderie of before. No princess parties to commiserate over. No trip itineraries to plan. It was par-for-the-course, so to speak. Relationships ebb and flow, and I thought it a natural separation as these girls began to plan for the next phase of their lives.
And then came graduation. I expected to be more emotional about the whole thing, but I had a camera in my hands and I was more concerned with preserving memories than I was about processing them. I listened to speeches and presentations with the ear of a speech teacher and I watched it all with the eyes of a photographer. I was excited to see them in their caps and gowns. I was amazed to see Brittney looking out at the crowd as she gave her speech. I laughed at this ridiculously entertaining German in his Italian suit as he talked of his upcoming debate with the guest speaker. (Becca's gonna be the only one who gets that.) I hurriedly ate my meal and chatted with co-workers and then I wandered around the restaurant snapping pictures of the chatty family and friends of the graduates.
And then I brought the film in to be developed. As I looked through the pictures, I was struck with a bittersweet reality--it's over. We are now at 'some other beginning's end'. They've graduated. They're moving on to exciting new beginnings. They will never all be together again as they have been...and for a group of five girls who have been in school together since elementary school, that's a big deal. And while I'm sure that each of them will be successful in the days and years ahead, I still grieve for the days and years left behind. Time is such an interesting concept. You cannot speed it up, you cannot slow it down, and it will not be stopped. I just wish that it came with a pause button! Change is exciting and surprising and a necessity, I know...but it involves some growing pains and loss that catch me by surprise from time to time.
So to the class of 2007, I will remember you...
- every time I see a Louis Vuitton purse
- every time I hale a cab
- every time I see a crystal tiara
- every time I hear The Prayer
- every time I eat an airplane biscotti cookie
- every time I avoid a geometry proof ;)
- every time I see a little Chinese man fall through a wall (...hopefully never again!)
- every time I wear camo
- every time I see Christmas decorations
- every time I eat a 'Big Bertha' or a Caramel Cream
- every time I hear Wicked or Phantom
- every time I read Donald Miller
- every time I see prom dresses
- every time I run into Brittney's future husband!!
- every time I encounter a group of girls as diverse as can be, but who still know and love each other like sisters
...in short, I will think of you often! I love you!!
4 comments:
That was a truly touching post. There are so many changes coming ahead for me that I don't even know where to turn. Actually, I'm just riding the tide right now, waiting on someone else to choose my fate.
I think that pause button would come in handy. It really was great being with your great friends in high school. It had its ups and downs, but it also had security. After high school, you lose a lot of that.
wow beth. (i get to call you that all the time now.) i believe you have said what none of us knew how to say. thank you for EVERYTHING from wandering around the NYC to our last deep boy discussion right before graduation. (i did take you and carlos advice.) i will miss and think of you too. however, you are not rid of me. we will have coffee before i leave in august.
love, beccaa
Well put! I think we all feel the same. "The girls" will always be a special part of my life. I learned alot from them. (hopefully, I taught them a few things as well).
Mc
I agree with Mc. Very well put. Actually sitting here so very far away from home and friends and family and the girls it brought a tear or two to my eyes. We did share something extraordinairely special didn't we? I think to outsiders it was hard to understand--perhaps it even made them envious or angry or whatever--but we did share something uniquely special. And I, for one, am glad that I got to be a part of the adventure.
God's timing and His will are so perfect. I couldn't have imagined leaving before the girls graduated, although that was a possibility....but one that I quickly put an end to.
I, like you, will think of the girls when I hear/visit/relive all of those memories. I am smiling right now just thinking of them. However, my most fervent wish is that they would remember me for not just the "fundraising, Christmas decorating diva" that we all know that I am (haha), but also for the love of Christ that I had for them and for Him and His Word.
I want so much for them to know Him like I do...and I know that if they are anything like I was at their age that won't come easy. So, in the days and months and years to come, I will think about my girls, and pray for my girls, and wait for them to contact me with all the great news of their successes.
Until then....write me!
Love, love, love,
JenMoy Dawbin
PS...Is there a doctor in the house?
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