love is a decision

This was something I wrote just after my nephew was born. In having the recent opportunity to spend some time with David--now 19 months old and as precious as ever--I decided to revisit some of those past journals. (When I figure out how to post pics, his will be some of the first!) This is probably the most profound of those writings, and in so many ways a thought that I needed to revisit so badly right now.

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Love is a decision. I never realized that more fully than on May 17, 2003, as I drove the thirty minutes from Lafayette to Opelousas, Louisiana. You see, my nephew was born the night before. The event had been greatly anticipated and now David Kyle was here. And I was so in love that I could hardly stand it. It took everything in me not to travel as fast as my little car could handle. I had never been so in love with someone I had never met! My thoughts were all for him. My attention was focused on this one human being and it almost seemed that, in those moments, my existence was validated by his. As the euphoria began to wear off (although it hasn’t completely yet!), I began to think more on the subject of love—more specifically, my love of others and my relationship with my God.

I have realized that my love for God should be the same but to the ‘nth’ degree. But it rarely is. Instead, I find that a new baby is much easier to love than the God who created me. And my love for His creation is not where it should be, either. It’s easy for me to love the people who are like me—the people who encourage me and get my sense of humor. The people who like my ideas and show appreciation for what I do for them. But I hold myself in reserve. I wait to see who is worthy of my love. I sit in judgment. I evaluate the motives of others, conveniently excusing my own. I arrogantly scoff at the arrogance of others.

I remember one time when I was probably 12 or 13 years old, I’d had a fight with my sister and my dad made me sit in my room and read 1 Corithians 13. I didn’t get it the first time—I was still too mad. But he made me read it again . . .and again. And I can’t remember if I ever fully “got the point” that night, but I know that, even now, I return to that passage on a regular basis. Stop and read it for yourself. It wipes away all of our disguises. It takes away all of our excuses. It gets to the heart of the issue. It is so easy to be the complete opposite of everything that those verses say love is: impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, prideful, rude, self-seeking, easily angered, keeper of other’s wrongs, etc. Paul uses such extreme examples but that only furthers his point. If those mighty acts—done without love—gain nothing, how much less are all of my petty “accomplishments”?

The daily grind can be deceptively numbing--nothing overwhelming happens from day-to-day, but all of a sudden, I look up and I realize that I'm miles from where I should be spiritually. It is easy to let human nature creep in, especially when we are tired and overwhelmed—and no one is immune! But in the midst of it all, remember Peter’s words: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 4:8-11) Make the decision to love today.