Sucker = me (haven't I already used this title?!)

I am completely aware that I am a sucker for gimmicks and marketing. Put some regular cosmetic in a mint-green box and offer a 'free gift with purchase' and I'm all over it like 'white-on-rice-and-a-paper-plate-and-a-glass-of-milk-in-a-snowstorm' (random Major Payne quote). I also love to see how things are done so when I happened upon this 'Wolfgang Puck gourmet rich caramel latte' in a new self-heating can, I just couldn't pass it up! I was prepared for mediocre results, but I was intrigued by the process whereby this can became self-heating so I blew the $6 for a 4-pack and set off to see it for myself! And now I will share my carefully conducted semi-scientific experiment. my hypothesis: this self-heating can is mostly hype and the coffee itself will be bad. And so we begin! I will include the 'heating instructions' as well as my own commentary:


Procedure:
To Heat Container: Turn container UPSIDE DOWN before opening and follow instructions. (Rather cleverly, the rest of the instructions are printed upside down so that they can be read while performing the necessary steps--well done Wolfgang!)

1. PULL off tamper proof metal bottom. (And immediately slice your finger on the razor sharp edge that is exposed! OUCH!! A short pause to perform emergency first aid on gushing finger...and we're back!)

2. Place container on a flat surface. Using thumb, FIRMLY push button DOWNWARD until internal foil seal tears and colored water drains into the activation chamber. (huh?! internal foil? colored water?? activation chamber?!?! I was getting a little worried about what I was about to be ingesting, but never fear, those worries are addressed in the WARNINGS section of the can...)

3. Wait 5 SECONDS and turn can right side up. (and a picture is included for those of us who need the extra instruction.)

(steps 4 and 5 are actually printed so that they can be read with the can right side up--again, way think on your feet Wolfgang!)

4. HOT SPOT (located just next to the instructions for step 4) turns from pink to white when beverage is hot--6-8 minutes. (This is where my experiment breaks down just a little as I was called away to handle some minor emergency involving van keys and whatnot--always the director, ya know...anyway, back to the experiment!)

5. Once hot, shake 5 to 10 seconds then twist lid to align opening with pull-tab. Open and enjoy.

Before coloring your views with my own very valued opinion, I will include the warnings:

WARNINGS
--CAUTION! BEVERAGE IS HOT WHEN PREPARED. (In my opinion, this warning is rather superfluous, but ya never know when someone may be scalded by luke-warm liquids!)

--Consume beverage from container. DO NOT POUR OUT. (ok, my big question is WHY?! exactly what DON'T they want us seeing? Is the colored water actually a part of the drink and Wolfgang's just messin' with our heads?! It's kinda like The Monster at the End of This Book --one of my all-time favorite childen's books, by the way!)

--FOR BEST RESULTS store and activate at room temperature. (so what if you're in a room in Antarctica?!)

--Use only as directed and do not reuse. (because it's tempting to reuse a now defunct self-heating container?!)

--Do not use if damaged or emptied. (I get the damaged can warning, but what exactly would the point be if it were emptied in the first place?)

--Do not microwave or freeze. (I really am worried about the people ole' Wolfgang is expecting to buy this product if they must be told not to microwave a self-heating can!)

--Heat is produced through the reaction of a natural mineral and water. These materials have no contact with the beverage in this container. (Whewww! That's a relief!! So now I'm wondering WHAT natural mineral?!)

--To prevent accidental skin or eye contact with heating materials, do not alter or tamper with the container. IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL CONTACT FLUSH WITH WATER FOR 15 MINUTES. (so what about intentional contact? and exactly WHAT kind of natural mineral are they using that they're worried about skin contact?! YIKES!)

Powered by OnTech (really? POWERED by? this is a can that is literally powered by something?! wow!)

Results: My hypothesis was pretty much dead-on. The drink wasn't very hot at all and it tasted uhm, ok I guess. It didn't have too metallic of a taste as I originally expected, but it isn't filling some unknown void in my life either.

There, I thought that you would enjoy this thoroughly random post. Camp is great. We're about to start week 3. We are in Lynchburg, VA, through next Friday, then it's back to the Motherland (that's Maryland for us. We love Grace and Doug at Skycroft and everyone just can't wait to get back! see ya soon, guys!!) That's it for now!