he's just not that into you: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

I have just finished reading he’s just not that into you: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Some people may consider this book just another in that long line of relationship books that makes ridiculous claims and, ever the cynic, I was ready to attach that label myself. But I must say that it was a good read. There are no earth-shattering revelations in the book but I think that’s what I liked about it. The truth—there in black and white—with a little wit and creative writing thrown in for effect. It all seems so clear when you’re reading about other people’s ridiculous situations—because it’s always easier to evaluate someone else’s life than your own. This is a little quote from the book jacket:

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo’s wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean ‘I’m in love with you and want to be with you.’

I’m not in a relationship at the moment, but some friends and I were discussing the book last week so I decided to see what it was all about. I must say that I identified all too well with some of the situations it covers. And I think guys are right—we (women) make them (men) seem much more complicated than they really are—and we (women) have the right to expect something more than a half-hearted commitment and a lazy attitude. If a guy is truly into you, he will make the effort, overcome the hurdles, get over his issues, treat you well, etc, etc, etc. And if he doesn’t—you’re better off without him. Yes, ladies (and gentlemen), at 29 years 5 weeks and 2 days, I am on yet another, “Who needs men—I’m perfectly happy on my own” kick! (But I think I am gonna get a dog.) So ladies, read em’ and weep—and then laugh a little (because the writing is really good) and learn to believe that you’re worth more that the half-hearted crap some semi-interested guy is willing to dish out, because you are.

Disclaimers: The book does assume some relationship situations that I do not personally endorse and the language can be a little risqué at times—it was written by a writer and a consultant of Sex and the City, for crying out loud! But if you can see past all of that, they make some very good points.